I have a long-acknowledged aversion to unpacking from trips, anything related to laundry (besides getting it started), and certain tax-related work tasks. The other day, I was deep in dread about unpacking from about five different work and personal trips, and I got on the phone with my bestie (aka Together Tech Exec) and we chatted for about 90 minutes (about mostly nonsense), and by the end of our time together, I WAS TOTALLY UNPACKED. Little did I know, I was using a strategy called Body Doubling. Kate B, a long-time Together friend, had mentioned it to me in Denver as a strategy used by those with ADHD, and I think there are things we can all learn from “Body Doubling.”
My unpacking / laundry aversion in action.
So, in a nutshell, what is Body Doubling? There are variations, but a couple key steps:
- Set up a timed session with another human, either in person or online (or on the phone!)
- Agree on a clear goal or deliverable for the session
All of this can add accountability, motivation, and a supportive presence, but of course, this kind of structure is not always possible on a Saturday when you are staring a giant pile of grading or data analysis! And this is where Sam, a school leader in the Bronx, and Kate, the aforementioned nonprofit leader in Denver, chimed in:
- Kate says, “For household chores, it’s great because it allows me to catch up with a friend, and I don’t have the FOMO (fear of missing out) in the house alone. For work, I usually Body Double more formally. Having someone else in my space helps my ADHD brain by seeing an example of what I want to be doing. And if I am having an off day, there’s that gentle human encouraging me to get focused. Coffee shops and co-working spaces and setting goals for the time also help me.”
- Sam adds, “I feel like it is most helpful for me when my motivation is low. Specifically, if I’m trying to do something on my computer, work, or my adulting power hour (like a personal Meeting with Yourself!), which is just not always fun. Being in a space where other people are on laptops, like a coffee shop or library, helps so much. When I look up, I see other focused people and it keeps me not feeling alone in whatever task I have to do. The time ends up going by quickly and I’m always more productive.”
I realize The Together Team also employs this Body Doubling strategy regularly with announcing our goals for certain time blocks, working side-by-side on Zoom, or finding a change of location. I also realized why I gravitate toward my husband’s workspace on days he works from home. Try it, it works!
PS Another way to think about this is our Scary Hour!
