Dear Together Friends, Fans, and Family,
I started writing this newsletter the day before the November midterm elections, while anxiously waiting for some breast biopsy results (PSA: screenings matter!) and hoping Semi-Together Teen 2 received some club volleyball offers. Needless to say, it was a tense 72 hours. During that 72 hours, I also managed to host a 16-person neighborhood Supper Club (yes, there is a spreadsheet, and no I did not start the club, but I love it) with a Halloween costume contest (Dr. Together and I rocked our Paul and Prue costumes – Great British Baking Show, anyone?), two giant crockpots of chili (this recipe and this recipe, gift link) , and a rousing game of Fall Bingo – with prizes. And of course, Daylight Savings always turns my system upside down.
Paul and Prue celebrated Halloween in the Together Household.
What is my point here? I never quite know how much to share in this space. But as a person with a platform that reaches a lot of lovely humans (hey, there are over 30K of you willingly on this newsletter list), I do try to share stories and struggles when I believe 1) it connects to Togetherness, 2) it could help someone going through something, or 3) it has impact on the world (though this may be overstating my importance).
It was a lot of silly and serious in the same weekend – and I let them live in the same space on my calendar (biopsy Thursday morning at 6:45 AM + hosting a dinner/costume party on Friday at 6:30 PM). I wouldn’t have made it through without a lot of people willing to share stories, resources, and struggles – plus the willingness of my neighbors to bring 24 baked Russet potatoes to Supper Club for the aforementioned chili.
I think those 72 hours taught me that we can do ALL the stuff at one time – if we put in the effort! Sometimes the downright silly (let me just say, my former Girl Scout Troop co-leader, who also runs a genetics lab at NIH, made that Kermit helmet with her own bare hands!) can get you through the stressful stuff. Sometimes you need to make extra time in your calendar to show up (thanks to the friends who took my pre-biopsy calls!).
- Silly: Dr. Together and I went all out for our Halloween-themed Neighbor Supper Club. I will never be able to unsee my husband as Paul Hollywood from Great British Baking. He literally took a photo to the barber and got his hair and beard to match. Not to be outdone, my resin-chain Prue necklace nailed it. Spoiler alert: We did not win any prize categories. Miss Piggy and Kermit swept the awards in full. We played Bingo with a grab bag of Trader Joe’s best snacks. Is there anything downright silly you can add to your holiday season? Pets in costumes? Wrapping tiny gifts in giant boxes? (This is my favorite move! You can imagine how much the Together Teens love it…)
Ms. Piggy and Kermit swept the Halloween competition!
- Show Up: The only way I made it through that biopsy (besides modern medicine) is two friends who had been through a similar procedure and took time to walk me through the entire thing step-by-step practically and emotionally – and then made time to check in along the way. Another local friend showed up that evening with treats and a walk. My dear husband got me an apple fritter and hung out with me on the couch. Update: No cancer was found, but atypical cells were. I have a team of medical professionals – and friends – who will walk with me through whatever the next steps are. The path is not clear, and my brain and calendar do not like that one bit! Are there ways you can show up for people this season? My bestie and I are combining Thanksgiving with her mom and my mother-in-law to make the day feel more festive.
- Share: Sharing stories and situations is a bit harder to pop in a calendar, and some of the sharing happens more formally, such as my book club buddy and friend Alison bravely sharing a family journey. And some sharing happens informally, like when I try to quickly answer texts from women who ask me about divorce situations. Stories and sharing are so important to others, and my nudge to all of us is to make the time.
Besides the sharing above, I am learning so much on my Together for College sidequest. Whether this ends up a series of blog posts, or an orientation course, I don’t know – but it feels important, interesting, and urgent. Many of our newly elected officials are younger than me (wild!), and I want to keep investing in the young people! PS If you are also interested in this journey, here is a quick survey to let me know.
#togetherforever #clipboardsandclogs
Maia
PS You all sent me so many comments on my book-ish newsletter last month – thank you! I have jumped headfirst into The Stand by Stephen King, and oh my goodness. It may take me until December to finish, but it is his only big famous one I have never read.
PPS So I don’t leave you hanging, Semi-Together Teen 2 got two club volleyball offers, so if you need me, I’ll be courtside all spring up and down the Northeast Corridor.
- I need to host a Soup Share! A soup swap?! I do not need another thing on my December calendar (or do I???), but this is a fantastic idea (gift link). I would do this soup, this soup, or this soup. This feels like a fun January project for when I am sick of cooking. I can picture people showing up with a Crockpot or pressure cooker, and I really like the idea of having painters tape and take out containers at the ready. Think of how many freezer meals you could have on chilly nights!
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Are you a daily or weekly or never de-clutter-er? Say what you will about Martha Stewart, but I always think she drops some Together Truths. I personally don’t love taking time on Sundays for a deep reset; and I’m more of a daily tidy kind of person. I am also sometimes the mom who yells, “Ten-Minute-Tidy!”, sets a timer, and then nudges all the Barely Together Teens looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. Also, I recently hit a busy travel streak and I was four trips’ worth not unpacked, so just remember, the goal is not perfection. But the point here is picking intervals that work for you and sticking with them.
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Author crush alert! Everyone’s favorite professor, Dr. Angela Duckworth, has dropped a new book, and I’m in love. Has anyone read it yet? I know some of you out here have worked with her on different types of research! Anyway, she summarized the new text over here, and my favorite part is that we cannot simply rely on willpower. I also love her thoughts on how to set your space up for success! As I get ready to work on some new creative projects (see above: Together for College!), I need to think about how to make my environment work for me.
