Dear Together Friends, Fans, and Family,
At a recent Together class with some great folks in Brooklyn, they kindly delivered me a handwritten message on a note card at the end of the day. This made me flash back to a former boss of mine who was a huge fan of what he called Posi-Notes, and they would be these long, hyper-specific shout-out emails (thanks Doug!) that I still to this day keep in a Kudos file. Anywhooooo, this has me thinking about how we can all use Togetherness to connect, to recognize, and to celebrate. And then I scanned my Outlook calendar and my Asana task list and my daily Post-it dashboard, and I realized that I use my Togetherness skills for people a LOT.
A lovely handwritten note given to me after a recent class.
Here are some examples from my own Together Tools:
- A task jotted to write a condolence note to a friend
- A calendar reminder to text a colleague who was nervous about an upcoming training to ask about the outcome
- A stack of handwritten birthday cards for upcoming celebrations ready to pop in the mail at the top of the month (I scan each month across my Outlook calendar for birthdays)
- A request to a Together Teen for a photo I can have put on cookies for her high school graduation brunch (they require ordering in advance)
- A Google Keep note with ideas for upcoming gifts for Dr. Together based on things I hear or see (his 50th birthday is around the corner)
- An address file that is updated regularly for my epic holiday card mailing each year
- A shared Google doc with my sister for our annual Maine summer trek
I also realize I have been on the receiving end of some amazing praise that people must have planned:
- The aforementioned thank you note from a class participant
- An out-of-the-blue Dunkin gift card from my colleague Chrystie
- A notecard in my mailbox on Mother’s Day from my volleyball carpool parents thanking me for making the spreadsheet (this one meant so much to me)
- Our Together Team Trimester Paper Plate Awards created by our teammate Ana
Caffeinated pick-me-ups are the best!
Sometimes I worry Togetherness gets a bad reputation with words like uptight, rigid and inflexible, when in my experience, Togetherness can actually make gifts more personalized, celebrations more special, and recognition more specific. Since June is often a month of beginnings and endings, a few simple steps can help you use your Togetherness powers in support of others.
- Colleague, friend and family (and some teachers will do student!) birthdays in your calendar as recurring events – and then scan ahead (ahem, Meeting with Myself connection) because everyone loves a real life card in the mail, or an actual phone call. Fun fact: I sometimes try to call people on their birthday eve because I’m more likely to catch them. Also, because I’m occasionally competitive and like to be the first phone call!
- Keep your calendar or task list handy when / if you scan social media. . . this is often how I end up sending Together Toddler onesies to new babies, jotting congrats cards around promotions, or sending sympathy cards for the loss of loved ones (yes, I keep cards for every occasion and stamps on hand). It is one of the reasons I remain on social media!
- Reactively record things you observe that are happening in others’ lives. It is so meaningful for someone to receive a message saying, “I know you were nervous about XYZ medical appointment. I’m glad you are on the other side of it!” People want to be seen and witnessed. It doesn’t take much time.
- Take notes (aka Thought Catchers) on those around you. My college bestie (hi Anne!) and I have a bit of a lemon symbol thing happening, and I found a super cute claw clip with a lemon and held on to it for five months for her birthday. My aunt knew I needed new ski goggles and thoughtfully sent them in the mail as a total surprise.
#clogsandclipboards #togetherforever
MHM
PS
Unrelated to anything, I want to get Dr. Together an outdoor pizza oven for Father’s Day. Anyone have any recommendations???
PPS My author bestie, Elena Aguilar, has some great stuff coming up. . .
I’m gonna be honest, not a lot of the internet is very inspiring right now – but in search of some uplifting news I’ve gone down an unexpected path. So, come along on my journey of feel-good animal stories.
- Tiny unplanned interactions? I’m a HUGE fan of small, impromptu chitchats with anyone and everyone! (Much to the Semi-Together-Teens’ chagrin.) The other day I rolled down the window while driving past my kids’ elementary school crossing guard and shouted “TOM! I miss you! Thanks for keeping the kids safe,” as my 12-year-old ducked his head and cringed. What’s YOUR version of the hot-dog lady?
- Change of scenery? While it can be hard to take time away from work, vacation is good for you. Put your computer down and live your best White Lotus life (or maybe don’t go that far?) Breaks are good for us, and before you head out of office, don’t forget that Re-Entry Memo! Speaking of, I need to get mine started NOW!
- You have more downtime than you think. If you, like me, have a super-busy summer coming up, it can feel like you have no free time for relaxation. Laura Vanderkam encourages us to see that there are always pockets of unclaimed time that can be relished as leisure. I know I have some evening time slots where I could be making snacking cakes!
